Okay...is this thing on? Check, check, one two...Hey!
Good to see everyone, good to see everyone. Everyone got a beer? Yeah?! Well, me too, so CHEERS!
So hey, this Session Beer Day, April 7, is a pretty big thing, all right? And Chris, you know, at Notch? Chris decided we needed a manifesto. Yeah, to tell everyone what this is all about. I got it here, hang on... [pats pockets, finds and unfolds piece of cardboard with crayon scribblings] Yeah! Here it is. Check this out...
The 2013 Session Beer Day Manifesto
This Session Beer Day, founded by the father of American Session Beer, Lew Bryson, Notch shall celebrate Session Beer as follows:
Beers of 4.5% ABV or less, flavorful, and built for multiple rounds. No negotiation, no interpretation.
Larger vessels, such as the Willi, Nonic and Glaskrug shall display your allegiance!
Stemmed glassware and all its variants shall be shunned!
Vessel sizes of 1/2 liters, imperial pints and full liters shall be celebrated!
Vessels sizes of less than 16 oz shall warrant a surcharge (said surcharge all ready applied in most locations)!
Toasts must be boisterous and plentiful, and begin with a rousing "hear, hear"!
Speak no ill will of beer, but speak not of beer! Speak of politics, religion, sport, art, love and friendship. But never bore your comrades with beer geekery!
Evaluating beer through swirling, excessive sniffing or discussion (see above) shall bring a swift boot!
Non-verbal actions, such as nodding one's head in approval of beer being consumed is allowable.
Note-taking or mobile app rating of any beer shall be cause for expulsion from any fun, forever!
Social media sharing of Session Beer Day shall be encouraged, especially during boisterous toasts of Glaskrugs and general session beer awesomeness!
All right! Pretty cool! And look, that thing about mobile app rating...you guys want to get your Untappd badges, okay, but get it done and stop noodling. Drink and talk, drink and sing, drink and laugh, but here's my addition to the Manifesto: Session Beer Day isn't about the beer as much as it's about the drinking and the drinkers, and what we do while we're drinking. Have fun, enjoy the day, enjoy the company. Be German: talk to your tablemates. Be English: buy rounds. Be Czech: drink the same good beer at a steady pace all day. Be American: be loud!